Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
