I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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