so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
