Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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