I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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