jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
