just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
