i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize