Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
