nut hugger
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
