Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
