I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
