Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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