I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
