It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
