you would pick up someone in the library
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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