ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
