I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
