I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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