I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
