I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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