im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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