Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
