The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
