he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
