My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
