i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
