am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
