Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize