if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
