i may or may not be watching the land before time
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
not ubering you a puppy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
