Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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