we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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