Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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