yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
