new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
