I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
