you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
