Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
