girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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