This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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