Who did Billy Mays play for?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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