I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
