Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
