yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
