i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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