Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
