Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Be still, my beating vagina.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
