Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
