Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We need a shit load of segways right now
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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