It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
